Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Here's the buzz around Hulles World Headquarters these days:

Item: The issue of Avenues with my weird little article in it hit the stands last week and I got to see it in print. I'm happy to report that I wasn't emasculated too badly by the editors. Although come to think of it, emasculation, like pregnancy is binary – you are or you aren't. So I guess I wasn't. In fact, I think the editors did a nice job of adapting the thing. But my article seemed creepy in that medium: it sounded overly esoteric and intellectual amid the other more plebeian stuff in the newspaper (he said snottily). The check didn't bounce though. Thanks, Avenues.

Item: Because the aforesaid article referred to an event at the redundantly-named Nina's Coffee Cafe, June the owner said she was making me Customer of the Month. This is too funny for words. I feel like a really really tiny fish in an even tinier pond. I promise I won't let the notoriety go to my head. And thanks, June.

Item: My friend and part-time daughter Heather Harper posted a nice entry about the werehamster entries that have appeared here in recent days. As a result I'm even more madly in love with her now than I was before. This is true only during the times that she isn't my daughter, by the way. I'm not a sicko, for crying out loud. (It's also true only during the times her husband isn't around.) Heather wrote a lovely post, and I urge you to check it out here if for no other reason that to see the wonderful images she included. I'm still laughing (and a little frightened) by the werehamster with the glowing red eyes.... It's really funny that stuff I wrote looks much better on her blog than it does on mine. Thanks tons and tons, Heather.

Item: Another blog pal, Justin (JC), recently said a nice thing or two about my efforts here. Because I'm insufferably arrogant and because I found some things about it very funny, I'm going to talk about it in a soon-to-be-written post and not here. But thanks, JC.

Item: This gratitude thing is starting to get a little syrupy, sorry. Somebody tell me I suck so I can skewer them with a softball bat. I have found that due to the bluntness of most softball bats this method of skewering is very painful and takes a long time – the very best kind of skewering, to my mind. Thanks for nothing, whoever it is that's going to tell me that.

Item: I added an entry to the blogs in the sidebar -- “You look really great. You look really sexy.” I went there from Balderdash's blog and ended up liking the blog and the blogger lots. Some people you just want to do jello shots with. dmbmeg is one of those people, in my book. So welcome to Hulles, dmbmeg. I have nothing to thank you for so far except brightening my day, which now that I think about it is no small thing.

Item: I also added MNSpeak to the sidebar. I was remiss in not doing this earlier. This is the buzz of the Twin Cities, and while it may be of only local interest it is compelling reading if you live here. Thanks for making me write this sentence to keep the structure intact, you ungrateful bastards, I'm taking you off the sidebar.

Item: There is no other item. Let us frolic.

-- Hulles

5 comments:

Stephen Blackmoore said...

What is this "Avenues" of which you speak... er, write? Not being in the cold, bleak wastelands of Minnesotta, I have no frame of reference.

Out here it's not bleak, though it is cold. Low fifties. Hey, that's cold for us. We have to bring the strippers in before they catch their death, though for some reason the chill air seems to be netting them more money. Go figure.

Oh, before I forget. You suck and you're welcome. Just doing my part to restore order to a chaotic universe. Or maybe it's the other way around. I can never get my entropy straight.

dmbmeg said...

thanks for the shout-out!

Hulles said...

Stephen, how does a Louisville Slugger sound? All of my softball bats have been loaned out to lesbians. Sounds like the strippers there are doing a brisk business. (It's a gift, what can I say?)

Avenues is a local (Saint Paul) "news and arts monthly" that is distributed free at newsstands. This is only the second thing I've had published for real gringo bucks so it's a big deal to me. I'm still not sure why they published it, but the proverb about gift horses comes to mind.

dmbmeg, just seeing your little picture by the comment makes me smile. Screw the jello shots, let's cut to the Jager.

anne frasier said...

i picked up a copy of avenues a few days ago. your article looked very nice in there. in fact i think the paper needed something like that. a regular hulles article would make avenues more interesting.

but it was very strange (in a good way) to read something in print that i'd previously read online! the same text in a blog has a much more intimate feel to it.

Hulles said...

Thanks lots, Anne. I agree -- a blog entry does feel much more intimate. I'm going to have to ponder what there is about blogs vs. print that makes that true. I find that sort of stuff fascinating.