Gemini Cricket of Santa Barbara, California writes:
I am an avid fan of your blog. One thing, though: in your titles you always capitalize every word. Are you not aware that unimportant words like prepositions should not be capitalized?
Honey, I hope you have big tits because being an English major and a harridan besides ain't going to make you Number One on Billboard's Most Requested Bitch list. But to answer your question, to me there are no unimportant words. I'm a populist sort of guy when it comes to words in titles: if you bother to show up at all you get capitalized.
Armand Tanzarian of Yerevan, Armenia writes:
I am an avid fan of your blog. You recently wrote that 3M downsized your ass when they eliminated their Iconoclasm Division. Aren't you bitter and resentful? I would be. Hang in there, buddy.
Armand, thanks for the moral support. No, I'm not bitter and resentful. These corporate executives are people too. In fact, I find it interesting that they and their compatriots are being specifically targeted by marketers for this year's holiday season. Good for them, I say. Let them enjoy their day in the sun. Later on, when George W. Bush switches our economy to communism in an ill-advised attempt to make people forget about the war in Iraq, those people are going to be the first ones specifically targeted by cheaply-made Uzi knockoffs from the Czech Republic. I figure I can wait.
Fletcher Scrodd of Amsterdam, The Netherlands writes:
I am an avid fan of your blog. Hulles, everyone else has published Christmas lists on their blogs. Why haven't you? Have you renounced materialism in our age of exhausted whoredom groping for its blog, or did you just forget because your brain was fried to a Bac-O-Bit in the late 70's and early 80's?
Amsterdam? Say hi to Justin if he's still there. What? Oh yeah, um, Christmas. You're really putting me on the spot here, Fletcher. But okay, how about:
A dozen or so My Little Pony pencils (for taking blog notes)
Several one subject notebooks with fluffy kittens on the cover (also for taking blog notes)
Page 46 of the Victoria's Secret Christmas Sale Catalog (someone to take the blog notes) (not the page itself, I have that already, what's on the page, duh) (and you can keep the nightgown or whatever the hell it is to give to an Amsterdam cocktail waitress with a cute ass) (and I know several if you're at a loss) [Cute Ass Googlers: thanks for stopping by; read some more of my stuff if you want. There aren't any pictures other than mental ones though, sorry.]
A Salvorsan prescription (not for me, it's for a friend)
An AH-64D Apache attack helicopter (so I can get to the coffee shop to blog) (my rusted-out Geo Metro is about to give up the ghost)
So there. What? Where was I? Oh yeah - thanks lots and Merry Christmas. Here's hoping your Discover card doesn't suffer embarrassing hiccups at the Boeing plant.
Oops, almost forgot : My size in helicopters is Extra Hellfire Missles. My size in page 46's is whatever size she is.