Monday, November 13, 2006

Note: This entry is about writing another blog entry, Children Of A Lesser Dog. It is posted first because they appear on the blog in reverse chronological order, and no one would listen to me if I said “read the one below first”. Having said that, if you haven't read Children Of A Lesser Dog yet, please do before you read this. Thanks, The Management

I decided to do a “Making Of...” short feature for the DVD version of “Children Of A Lesser Dog” not because everyone else does and it's expected, but rather because it is a great excuse to talk more about me.

“Children...” started as a single line, which became the title. I'm not sure how or why I thought of it, but as far as I know it is original with me. I have to confess, however, that I didn't google the phrase because someone must have thought of it before and it would break my heart to find this out.

So, now that I had a title I needed a post to go with it. I filed the title away in my notes to let stuff mysteriously accrete to it via some mystical process that even I don't understand. The first idea I linked to it was “Win One For The Nipper.” At first I just liked the phrase, and “Nipper” sounded like a small dog, so I associated it with “Children....”

Eventually I got around to googling “one for the gipper” and found the script segment from “Knute Rockne -All American.” After reading this, I decided it was just too good not to parody in a blog entry. I'm not the first one to parody this, of course, nor am I even in the ballpark humor-wise. The related scene in the movie “Airplane” is one of the funniest I've ever seen (“I'm not sure where I'll be, but I'm pretty sure I won't smell too good,' or whatever the line is).

So now I have a parody of the “one for the gipper” scene with a title about dogs, so “The Nipper” has to be a small dog. I'd already written about Shih Tzus, so that was an easy one to pick. I realized that “Nips” had to have some successors to rally with her speech, so I had to have a couple other dog characters in the story. I also knew that “Nips” had to die, but that's just because I'm me.

Enter the American Kennel Club. On the Shih Tzu web site I found about a gazillion priceless sentences that I could swipe for the post. In fact, there was enough funny stuff there that I just sat back and let the AKC tell the story. I really like Dumpy and Squatty, by the way. I'm tempted to get two new pets just so I can name them that. They won't be Shih Tzus, though, I'm pretty sure. Maybe guinea pigs.

I find it quite amusing that I had to look up on the Internet how many teats a dog has. I said eight when I wrote the story, but I thought it might be six. It turns out (on the dog mammary system web site, of course) that dogs normally have ten, five to a side. So I decided to give Nips a dozen, just to make her special and give me an excuse to name her that. I wonder in passing if this would affect her showability, but I'm not going to look that up. I'd get interested in the real process of showing dogs and never get around to posting this.

As an aside, if you didn't read the AKC requirements as girlfriend requirements, I strongly recommend you go back and do so. I now routinely fiddle with a prospective date's hairstyle to make sure it doesn't cover up head flaws.

I also have to confess that the phrase "she continued seeming to say" is one of which I'm very proud, and which for me nearly justifies writing the entry by itself.

So there you have the story of the making of “Children Of A Lesser Dog.” I don't know if anyone else is interested in it, but I found the process nearly as amusing as the story itself. I hope you enjoy the post. And thanks to all the little people who made this possible.

-- Hulles

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