The Mailbag

Larry Nozzle of Adengoda, Eritrea writes:

I am an avid fan of your blog. I just started reading it, and I’m not sure if you’ve mentioned this earlier, but I’m curious: do you have children?

Only when I can’t have adults, Larry.

Ashley Gordon of Missoula, Montana writes:

I am an avid fan of your blog. I notice you keep saying how you’re madly in love with this woman or that woman. Just how many women are you madly in love with, anyway?

However many there are minus one.

Florence Draper of Deadwood, South Dakota writes:

I am an avid fan of your blog. As I read your turgid and pithy entries, I notice that you frequently use foreign words or phrases. What other languages do you speak? And BTW, I must complement you upon your masterful command of English. Your use of the English language makes both William Safire and Justin look like great big not good users of words.

Thanks for your ebullient praise, Florence; it’s well deserved. And good job in including that hyperlink in your letter, by the way.

Although I studied Latin in college and learned gutter Puerto Rican Spanish (¡coño!) from my stepkids, I really only speak English. Come to think of it, however, I can drink in 5 languages: English, Spanish, French, German and Czech. Whether this is something to be proud of or embarrassed about remains to be seen.

That’s it for the mailbag today. (Alas, I have to confess that I shamelessly swiped the first response from a line in the Ken Russell movie, “Lair of the White Worm.” It’s just too good not to steal.)

- Hulles