Thursday, October 12, 2006

A Can Opener And A Bag Of Dirt

Today is my friend Susan’s birthday. Happy birthday, dear.

Besides being a friend, Susan has the dubious distinction of being an ex-girlfriend of mine. Though we broke up many years ago, I still have fond memories of our time together, and I consider myself fortunate that we are still pals. I feel badly that I have been out of touch with her recently, but maybe emailing a link to this page will go some way toward regaining her good graces.

The aspect of Susan that I recall most fondly -- at least as far as you know -- is her sense of humor. For example, I have a priceless photograph of her sitting in my apartment with aluminum foil covering her head so she wouldn’t be controlled by aliens. This was before the movie “Signs”, by the way.

She and I still joke about the fact that the only gifts I gave her when we were dating were a can opener and a bag of dirt. I guess that wasn’t the year I won The World’s Best Boyfriend award. I’m not sure she deserved the can opener, but she certainly deserved the dirt.

Another time, Susan was over and we somehow began talking about beer jello, so I made some. It’s simple – take a package of Knox Unflavored Gelatin and make it according to the directions, but use beer instead of water. After letting it set in the refrigerator for a while, I took the bowl out so we could try it. We both literally ended up rolling on the floor, we were laughing so hard. The thing that was so funny was that it looked like a bowl of beer, complete with a foamy head, but it wiggled. When we finally quit laughing, we both tried to eat the stuff. It tasted like flat stale beer flavored with horses’ hooves. God bless Susan for being game to try it, though.

Now she is married to someone I haven’t met, but who I think I would like if I did. He sounds like a good unit. At least, the last time I talked to her, she was married…. Guess I’ll find out.

Again, happy birthday, Susan. I hope you’re doing well, and I have big hugs for you always.

- Hulles

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