The Mailbag

From the mailbag:

Helen Greene of Bobcaygeon, Ontario writes:

I am an avid fan of your blog. One thing, though – in your blog bio you say you weren’t at Brookhaven for the discovery of the omega-minus particle. What the hell are you talking about?

Thanks for writing, Helen. I think I know someone who looks like you. The Brookhaven thing is a joke that only my particle physicist friends would get if I had any. When the omega-minus was discovered, the paper that announced it had about a zillion authors, so the joke is that I am one of the few people that wasn’t there at the time. Incidentally, the omega-minus particle is an isotopic singlet with spin = 3/2, positive parity, mass of roughly 1,680 MeV, negative charge, baryon number +1, strangeness = -3, and is stable to strong decay, if you’re curious.

I suppose I’ve made funnier jokes. I hope I’ve made funnier jokes.

Lars Nilsson of Göteborg, Sweden writes:

I am an avid fan of your blog. I am curious – do you have any tattoos or other body art? I do (photos attached). By the way, we are very excited here: George Michael will be perfoming in concert on 20 October. If you want tickets I will try to get them.

Lars, it seems you have the wrong idea about certain personal preferences of mine. I not only deleted the photos you sent, I burned the laptop I received them on. But since you asked, I currently have four tattoos of dragons that I had done while traveling:

Dragon 1: Pete's Tattoo Studios, Dalkeith, Scotland
Dragon 2: Basel Tattoo & Body Art, Basel, Switzerland
Dragon 3: Way Cool Tattoos, Toronto, Canada
Dragon 4: Tattoo 69, Reykjavik, Iceland

I also wear a natural emerald in my left ear.

I don't really have a cock ring, as I said I did in Not The Hot Stud She Had In Mind. That was just a literary device (i.e. a lie).

And are you high? I’d rather have my balls pounded flat with a wooden mallet[1] than go to a George Michael concert.

But thanks for asking.

That’s it for the mailbag today.

- Hulles

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[1] Stolen from Tim Allen.