Actually, I did cut my hair just the other day. [Note: I originally wrote this entry when I had power and a functioning clipper.] For those of you imaginary friends that haven’t seen me lately, I’ve been wearing my hair for the past couple of years about ¼” long all over, more or less. Ditto the beard. The reason I cut my hair myself these days is that I’m fucking poor, see below.
At any rate, the clipper that I use (no, it’s not a Flobee) comes with blade guards that attach so that even idiots like yours truly can acquire an acceptable haircut in the privacy of their own home. A “#2” blade guard cuts one’s hair at ¼”, which was my target length, so I dutifully snapped on the guard and trimmed my hair and beard as well as I could. The resulting haircut did me proud, I thought, and I felt that I could be safely backlit by a window in public again without weird wild hairs poking out all over. Not that I go out in public anymore, but the superior man is prepared for any eventuality.
I had put the clipper away and was in the midst of some other grooming function (don't ask) when I noticed that I had missed cutting a small area of hair on the side of my head. I grumblingly (no, I don’t think it’s a word either, but it’s so hard to say it almost sounds like the noise I was making) pulled out the clipper again, turned it on, and cut the offending patch of hair. I noticed I was getting some good trim from the clipper (…), so I kept at it for a bit until I realized that I had forgotten to put the guard on, and was actually shaving the side of my head. Nice. So much for ¼” all over.
All of the above is by way of explaining why, when you see me next, my head is pretty much shaved all over now. No, I don’t want to look like Shaq (at least the parts of me you can see), it’s just the result of a grooming accident which could have happened to anyone. Well, almost anyone. After all, even all the ever wanting had a problem….- Hulles