Thursday, March 08, 2007

First of all, the title has nothing to do with this post, I just needed a lurid headline to trick you into reading this and that one popped into my head. I don't even want to speculate why that might be the case. Wish I could have gotten the backwards "b" in "Abba" going on though.

Second, I need to run down to Iowa for a couple days and see my brother Leo, who is nearly as creepy as I am. I'll post again on Sunday or Monday. I'm a little disappointed because the timing is good for a particularly funny post right now and all you get is this. But so it goes.

I do, however, have a favor to ask of you: Don't post any fun and interesting and provocative comments while I'm gone! It's going to drive me crazy to be gone for a couple of days and wonder what the hell's going on in the comments while I'm not there:

"Hi Leo, good to see you! How's the terminal cancer? Hey that's great, say, mind if I use your PC and sign on to the Internet? Won't take but an hour or two..."

Although I think he'd understand if I told him I was in the process of arranging a menage-a-1701 (he doesn't speak French). He is a Hulles after all, if only a shoddy counterfeit Hulles who grew up in my shadow.

So this will be a short post, I have to pack my sex helmet, monogrammed tooth dam and Thom McCann quirt (hey, you never know who you'll run into at the Knotty Pine) and get the hell out. But I'll miss you lots.

And don't have any fun while I'm gone, dammit!

-- Hulles

[Sneaks back in to check comments after leaving the first time:] Good. Keep it that way.

-- Hulles


cK said...

Damn. I can't figure out whether you're actually asking us to bandy about some cracking repartee in your abscence.

Is this all a bit of reverse psychology, Hulles? Are you the man behind the curtain? (Those certainly look like your shoes sticking out.)

LaCosta (Lollie) said...

Umm, isn't a backwards "b" a "d"...?

Just sayin'

LaCosta (Lollie) said...

oops - wasn't supposed to have left a comment...ignore that.

LaCosta (Lollie) said...

that one too...

LaCosta (Lollie) said...

I could do this forever!

Jen said...

Lollie, yup it is. Except not when they use all caps. ;)

Merlin said...

A menage-a-1702 if you don't mind my good man.

Don't think you're getting them all to yourself or I'll put the leeches on you.


Kristen Painter said...

Obviously, like the rest of the rabble, I've chosen to ignore the "no comments" business. (Your first mistake was telling me what to do. Your second was thinking I'd listen.) So here's your comment. Deal.

Sending best wishes for your brother, though. I'm sure he could use them. With you coming to visit and all...

SuperBee said...

1) Best to your brother for me. Cancer sucks.

2) You're a creepy, creepy man, Hulles. Keep it up.

anne frasier said...

creepy is the new groovy.

Jen said...

To meet him in person is to realize that he's more lecherous than creepy.

Love ya, Hulles!

Mosilager said...

Hope the sex helmet gets some use out there, how's things with the catullarian?

cK said...

Everyone--Lollie, Mosilager, jeNC17, superbee, Kristen "The Destroyer" Painter, that one Brazilian girl, England's Country Mouse--thanks for showing up for the unofficial Hulles Blog Appreciation Society (HBAS) on Friday night. Too bad Mark was in Iowa. It was a blast, wasn't it!?

Thanks, kids.

Hulles said...

cK, no reverse psychology. But I'm back now so all bets are off.

Lollie, leave as many comments as you want. Just don't make them interesting while I'm gone, is all.

Um, Merlin, your comment is a strong indictment of the arithmetic taught in UK schools. I thought we established earlier that a menage-a-1702 was not in the cards. What we're really talking about in our case is two menage-a-1701's. I hope.

Kristen, thanks. I didn't get quite enough time to do a proper job of bugging my brother but I gave it my best shot. The rascal seems to be doing well, though, I was pretty happy about that.

superbee, thanks lots twice over. I choose to view the creepiness as a God-given talent.

Anne, thank you for that. I think.

Jen, love ya back, but lecherous? Lecherous? I trust no one is going to believe that of me...

Mosilager, nope, no new gold stars on the side of the helmet this trip. I actually never even made it to the Knotty Pine. And the catullarian? We'll see, I may get a chance for another encounter soon (poor woman).

cK, the gathering would be a dream come true for me; I hope such a thing can happen some day. I'm pretty sure it didn't happen Friday though, I think your fez is too tight or something. Kristen at least would have driven to Iowa to get me. I'm like a god to her.

Jen said...

Ok, you're just lecherous with me. To everyone else, you're creepy.

Stephen Blackmoore said...

Glad you're back. Did anyone have to bail you out of jail this time?

Kristen Painter said...

I see you came back more delusional than ever.

Merlin said...


Agreed absolutely. A mere linguistic mis-understanding. A double menage a 1701 is precisely what I had in mind too.

(Can you get beds that big in the States?)


La Espia T. said...

Hulles, I keep coming back and rereading this post and everytime I mean to comment and I just can't seem to come up with the right words. I still don't have them but I hope the effort counts.

I truely feel for you and your brother. I know how hard it is to watch a loved one go through a chronic illness. The way you approach it both shocks and charms the hell out of me. I send you both hugs and I've been told I have pretty great hugs so here's to hoping it helps a little. Take care of yourself as well. I hope for you to be back to your witty posting self soon!


Eva Gale said...

Glad your back O_o (did I just say that?) and I hope you were able to make your brother laugh with your creepy charm. Does he read your blog?

Merlin said...

I just noticed tour "babel fish" button and translated your blog.

You know it's even funnier in Mandarin Chinese ?


Hulles said...

Jen, you know I'm a perfect gentleman when I'm with you, except for that one time. Oh yeah, and that other time...

Stephen, no arrests were made. Police are still seeking the two brothers who were seen tying a dead horse to their Jeep and riding it up and down the streets of Humboldt, whooping mightily all the while.

Kristen, if I'm going to be delusional I promise that I could not pick a better person to have delusions about. But does this mean that you wouldn't come to get me in Iowa? Sniff.

Merlin, they don't have beds that big but they have basketball courts here that should be suitable.

La Espia T., thank you very very much. I hope to collect on the hugs in person some day (and I'll steal my brother's share as well of course). Joking about his cancer etc. is about the only tool I have for dealing with it. If you're curious though I do it to his face too and he's pretty okay with it. I think he appreciates that we don't have to get all serious and awkward and stuff when we talk about his illness. And yes, the effort certainly counts. XXXOOO to you as well. Thanks again.

Eva, I did make my brother laugh a little bit, mostly at me rather than with me however. I don't think he reads this unless I make him. I did make him read the comments where people wished him well, however, and he appreciated them a lot. I know this because the particular grunt he gave usually means approbation. (We aren't really good at expressing our emotions, we Hulles's.)

Merlin, have you not noticed that I sometimes construct some of the English sentences I write awkwardly so that they come out funny in Mandarin? Fie on thee.