Monday, March 12, 2007

We can dance if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance
Well they're no friends of mine

- Men Without Hats, Safety Dance

Item: My Brazilification is still underway. I'm listening to lots of Brazilian music these days thanks to Casti and cK and I'm slowly but surely picking up more Portuguese. I set aside Amado's "War of the Saints" however; the pace of the book was just too slow for me. I need something to be happening when I read a novel. Perhaps it's just a poor translation. However I suspect it's really that it is a product of the sixties and partakes a little too much of the (then) heady new school of writing.

In keeping with my Brazil theme, a dear friend confessed yesterday that she always thought the lyrics of the song "Safety Dance" by Men Without Hats were:

You can act real rude and totally removed
And I can act like I'm in Brazil.

Perfect. Thanks Erin.

Item: Thanks to those of you who wished my brother Leo (who's nearly as creepy as I am) well. I'm happy to report that he still looks better than I do, cancer notwithstanding. Which isn't that hard these days, by the way -- I am overdue for a beard trim by about three weeks. I look like a Gabby Hayes that was left in the dryer too long.



Item: As those of you who have read me for a while know, not only am I madly in love with Kat but I also happen to think she is a very funny writer. My opinion was vindicated last Thursday when her blog pink india ink was "gawkered." If you don't know, The Gawker is a New York City media/gossip publication that is very widely read, and when one's blog is mentioned on this site it is a very big deal indeed. You can read the article that was gawkered here, although I'm still a little unsure about whether or not I am to be lumped in with the blue-hairs she was talking about. Congratulations, Kat. And nice thighs, by the way.

Item: You'll be happy to know that the Ferragamo quirt marks on my shoulders and thighs have almost faded. The ones on my hinder seem to be taking longer to heal. Ah, memories....

Item: In more blog news, Mugshots Magazine has made its debut. Co-founded by Hulles Adjutant Curmudgeon Stephen Blackmoore, the magazine solicits and publishes fiction based on mugshot images put up on the web site. Check out this nascent publication before it gets all old and gnarly and shit and has hair growing out of its ears and repeats the same story over and over. Congratulations Mr. Blackmoore. [Late-breaking news: site's under construction, check back later. - The Management]

Item: RFP's are being accepted for the next Hulles get-together. If you're interested let me know. It'll be another old-fashioned Texas Braincell Massacre I'm sure. I'm lining up the morris dancers tomorrow.

Item: Last but not least I sold an article to Avenues recently. Thanks Michael, you have impeccable taste as always. If you're curious, the corresponding blog entry is Ignoble Drone Am I? Why You Little.... The irony of that piece being published in a print magazine is lost on no one, trust me.

We can dance if we want to
We've got all your life and mine
As long as we abuse it, never gonna lose it
Everything'll work out right....

-- Hulles

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

...And we can dance...And sing!

Erin

Eva Gale said...

We can all go down. My Uncle just married Lula's niece.

kat said...

More internet mileage for the footed pj's!

Anonymous said...

To check out a totally screwed up take on the song lyrics to the Saftey Dance, go to www.angelfire.com/me2/zelsparkbench/song11.html. It says: "And stand like we're perfectly still" at the point where it's supposed to say the "imbecile/Brazil" line.

CaRaZY!

Erin

Heather Harper said...

WTG, Hulles! Congratulations on selling your article. :)

cK said...

"We can dance! We can dance! Everybody look at your hands!"

Truly, those are words to live by...especially if in your hands is a martini during the Hulles Blog Antiquarian Society meeting. Please let us make it before March 25, for I leave town that down (and on a jet plane, just as Peter Paul and Mary said I would, though in my defense I know when I'll be back again).
-cK

cK said...

I mean day, not down. Dammit. This brain is ravished by the whole daylight savings thing.
-cK

LaCosta (Lollie) said...

Hmm, I always thought it was "We can dance! We can dance! Everybody look at your pants!"

LaCosta (Lollie) said...

Hey Hulles - look at my new pants!

cK said...

Well it's her safety pants--yeah! It's the safety pants!

LaCosta (Lollie) said...

Bloomers are good for those oh-so-embarrassing Marilyn Monroe moments.

Hulles said...

Going backwards:

Lollie, the only good thing about bloomers has always been that they come off and can be crumpled and thrown into a corner. But still. Nice new bloomers. Everyone here always likes it when you change your underwear.

cK: I will not think of our Lollie with plastic-lined pantalones. Me, sure, not her though.

Lollie, did, like 'em. [makes crumpling gestures.]

cK, we all know what your brain has been ravished by and it ain't daylight savings time. And before 25 March? Submit an RFP. I'll have my people call your people.

Heather, thank you so much. It is a huge deal to me and your support means a lot to me as it always has. Dang, I have good taste in daughters to this day, don't I?

Erin, sorry, your line stands as is and I'm not going to the Angelfire site where my popup blocker will go into cardiac arrest.

Kat, like I could not post that picture. I mean really. PJ's with footies containing you? If we ever meet I promise to peel that black bar across your eyes off really quickly so it doesn't hurt for very long. XOXOXO and congrats again.

Eva, we need to speak privately again. This impertinence can no longer be tolerated. Expect tutoring soonest. But until then, hugs and don't tell anyone I'm a marshmallow or however one spells that. Why does that word always remind me of Lemony Snickett?

Okay people, I have to go and pretend I'm aloof and disinterested so if you really love me you won't write any more endearing comments.

Anne said...

congratulations on another sale to avenues! that was a great piece, and i really have to give avenues credit for not being afraid to run it.

it will be interesting to see what kind of hate mail and love mail in generates. :D

Hulles said...

Anne, thanks lots. And I too will be interested to see what (if any) reaction it generates. I was a little surprised myself that of the pieces I was pimping Mike picked that one. He truly did appreciate the irony of sticking it into a newspaper too, God bless him. He's a good unit.

Hulles said...

Oh, and by the way, thanks everybody for telling me I mispelled "curmudgeon." Not.

So I suppose if I have a long booger dangling from my nose you're not going to tell me that either; you'll just snicker behind my back and make rude gestures that I can't quite turn around quickly enough to see.

Mumble rzrlfrggl snrgggg....

SuperBee said...

Sick. Did you see his Booger? Gross. I hope if I ever have one dangling like that you guys'll tell me. Even though we didn't tell him...

Ew! That lady totally just gave him a double-take. OH LOOK! She's barfing on the sidewalk! That's sick! HAHAHAHAHAHA

Kelly Parra said...

Hey Hulles! Congrats on the sale of the article! Great blog you have! :)

Casti said...

Hulles, Amado ainda é algo muito regional e por este motivo bem difícil de ler. Quanto as músicas espero que algumas tenham sido de seu agrado.

Bj do Brasil,
Casti

Sem tradução para exercitar seu Português!Rs.

LaCosta (Lollie) said...

Actually, we all secretly contribute to a blog aptly named Hulles' Boogers. Posts about your ahem...subject matter...are categorized by consistency.

Excuse me, I have to go throw up on the sidewalk.

Stephen Blackmoore said...

Congrats on the article. I loved the blog post for it.

Oh, and Mugshots Magazine is indeed back under construction. We generated a rather unexpected froofara when we announced, so we're redoing a couple of little things. I'm always amazed at the little things that get people so worked up.

Jen said...

I've already congratulated you, as I'd like to think that I'm one of the first people you told. But congrats again anyway! I'm proud of you.

Hulles said...

Superbee, laugh while you can. When you next get a cold I'm hiring a papparazzo to catch your booger moment and publish it in People magazine.

Kelly, thanks and thanks. Yours ain't so bad neither.... Nice to see you.

Casti, eu sou assim grato para a música - e seus comentários.

And Superbee, looks like the lady throwing up on the sidewalk was no lady at all but instead was our very own Lollie. Hulles' Boogers, hunh? I want an RSS feed stat.

Stephen, thanks lots! Keep at it, nose to the grindstone, stiff upper lip and all that. We await the result with great anticip....

Jen, thank you so much! You were of course one of the first people I told. It was nice of you to say that you're proud of me. Usually only my mother tells me that, and that only when she's been doing 'shrooms.

Anne said...

"Actually, we all secretly contribute to a blog aptly named Hulles' Boogers"

LOL!

Hulles said...

I guess I didn't realize my booger production was sufficient to support its own group-effort blog. But then again, I'm always the last to know. Jeez, I really hope you don't post pictures....

Kristen Painter said...

Congrats on your sale. I don't have the energy to be witty. Yesterday's activities sapped the strength right out of me.

Hulles said...

Thanks lots, Kristen. As I said, it means a lot to me. And we love you even if you're stultified. Well, I do anyway...