Wednesday, May 16, 2007

[I thought I'd air a rerun of this post because my buddy Unca Don just got back from a trip to Basel, among other places. Of course he made a pilgrimage to the Rio Bar. Sadly, he tells me the Café Des Arts is no longer there. -- The Management]


Rio BarIn Basel, Switzerland there is a little public house called the Rio Bar. It’s located on the Barfüsserplatz (which roughly translates as “Barefoot Plaza”) across the street from another bar, the Café Des Arts. The Rio thoughtfully provides a pair of binoculars so you can check out the patrons at the Des Arts.


Caroline HaerdiIt was at the Rio Bar that my buddy Unca Don and I met Caroline Haerdi. She was a bartender there at the time. She was blonde, about my height, and looked like she never took any shit from anyone ever. One treasured souvenir I retain from Basel is a Rio cocktail napkin with an imprint of Caroline’s lipstick on it. (I asked her for it, that’s why.)

The bartending gig at the Rio was only a fill-in job, however. She was a professional knife thrower.

Now girls, if you want to be fascinating to a man, tell him you’re a professional knife thrower. I guarantee he’ll perk right up. I did; so did Unca Don. It turned out that Caroline had a nightclub act at the time called “Danger Girls”. You have to love the name. Basically, in the show she threw knives at her partner, another attractive woman. Don and I used to joke that periodically there would be an ad in the local newspaper, “Wanted: female partner for entertainment act. No experience necessary. Hemophiliacs need not apply.” Unfortunately, neither he nor I ever saw “Danger Girls” perform.

Recently, I decided to see if I could find out what Caroline is doing these days. It seems she has a new act called “Steel and Fire”. By all means, visit the web site. It’s pretty cool. Apparently she’s still chucking silverware, though with a male partner this time around. I guess “Danger People” or “Danger Units” didn’t cut it for the name of the new act.

I’m still curious about what I find so attractive about the idea of a female knife thrower. I guess I’ve always liked strong women, strong as in “don’t take no shit”, that is, as opposed to East German weight lifter strong. That’s part of it. I suppose the hint of, well, danger is part of it too. You’re sitting on the couch in Switzerland watching futbol, you yell out “Caroline, bring me a beer!”, and ZZZING, a knife is quivering next to your left earlobe. “Get it yourself, asshole,” you hear from the other room. A man could come to love a woman like that.

- Hulles

11 comments:

Lollie said...

a) what happened to Arno's previous job holder? Did Caroline "miss?"

b) I think if the above is true, Arno's "Unit" may be in "Danger."

...ZZZING!!!!

H said...

Throwing knives is a talent I would never have thought to acquire, but now I'm thinking of taking it up.

Kelly Parra said...

Great reruns are always good, Hulles! :) :)

Hulles said...

Lollie, that guy has more guts than I do, certainly. If I were him I'd keep a calendar of Caroline's cycle and always have emergency chocolate and flowers nearby.

H, I recommend it. It gives one a certain air of mystery and danger. And comes in handy as an alternate source of income as well, per Caroline.

Kelly, thanks lots for the support. And congrats on your new book again.

Lollie said...

How about investing in a steel codpiece?

Jen said...

"If I were him I'd keep a calendar of Caroline's cycle and always have emergency chocolate and flowers nearby."

A man in a relationship should always have emergency chocolates and flowers near by. Too bad they never do.

Hulles said...

Lollie, that would be a good investment. My recommendation would be get a new job, to tell the truth. And nice undies.

Jen, dating a knife thrower is a powerful incentive to do these things.

Casti said...

Hulles, o problema da faca, é que sujará o tapete de sangue, sugiro um rolamento seguido de um golpe letal e limpo... rss

Beijo do Brasil!
Boa sorte com
The Other Keys.

Casti

Hulles said...

Casti, você é absolutamente direito sobre o tapete. O "carrinho no plástico" seria a frase a usar-se. E agradecimentos para os desejos bons "The Other Keys." Beijos grandes sempre.

Jen said...

I guess I better take up knife throwing if I want flowers and chocolate then.

Hulles said...

Or just hang around me when I have money. I'm a good pamperer.