Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Oh my God! It's Fat Tuesday today! It's almost over and I didn't even realize that today was the day. Although I should have known -- many of the people here in the redundantly-named Nina's Coffee Cafe have evidently come out tonight in support of the holiday named after them.

I actually thought I should delete the previous sentence about a hundred times because it's so cruel and fatuous but I decided to let it stand. I kept it because I think it's funny. If you must know,the somatotype of everyone here at Nina's tonight falls well within one standard deviation from the norm for the United States, if leaning a little toward endomorphic in comparison to much of the rest of the world. Dang, them big words certainly go a long way toward smoothing things over, don't they? Go Hulles.

But Mardi Gras is not the topic of this post. Nor People Gras. Neither is the National Hymn of Spain, in Spanish Himno Nacional de España. I woke up singing it this morning, although I suppose "singing" isn't really the right word. As far as I know it doesn't have words, so I just sing shit like "pah pah PAH pah paRUMParumpa humpadumpa." In fact, now that I mention it I imagine any truly patriotic Spaniard would shoot me without the slightest compunction if they ever heard me do that. But still, it's stirring music. They call it a hymn but somehow it gets my blood flowing. I find it addictive, much like many of George Michael's songs post-Wham. It doesn't make me want to conquer shit like "Deutschland, Deutschland über alles, / Über alles in der Welt" does or eat donuts like "O Canada" does but 'tis enough, 'twill serve.

I actually have an MP3 of El Himno Nacional by, sic, "V. larga anterior decreto 1997." My shaky Spanish translation of this is "Very large front thing 1997," an odd name for a band perhaps but I suppose it's no worse than "The Plot To Blow Up The Eiffel Tower." My MP3 is lots perkier than the one I linked to above but I can't seem to find out where I got it anymore. I came across the MP3 in the first place because I was looking for "Viva España" which at the time I mistakenly thought was the national anthem of Spain. Turns out this was true during Franco's rule but it has since been replaced by "La Marcha Real," another name for the national hymn I've been talking about. And at this point I have to say if any of this info is wrong, go ahead and tell me but don't expect contrition. After all my research to write this post I ended up concluding that most Spaniards don't know what the hell their national anthem is.

So "El Himno Nacional de España" went well with my usual Kahlua and Grape Nuts this morning. It got me going, got me flowing, got me moving with the groove, got me reeling and writhing and fainting in coils.

Which brings me to the real topic of this blog entry: sex. Need some.

-- Hulles

28 comments:

Claire said...

Kahlua and Grape Nuts? It's official, you're a deity!

Cxx

La Espia T. said...

While I won't comment on your tastes in food/booze combos I will say that I enjoyed the post and how in the end it all seemed like a very pretty distraction for the final line. Nice punch. :)

cK said...

Endomorphic! Way to dust off that one. Reminds me of Victorian novels (in the Penguin Classics series). I recall mesomorphic being used to describe a character.

Wait. Maybe I don't. Maybe that was a Pynchon novel.

Dammit.
-cK

Anonymous said...

Interesting...George Michael post-Wham. I just had one of his songs in my head the other day, and I was getting desperate to get it out. It also ties in nicely with the real topic of this post, "I want your sex". Not everybody's doin' it, but everybody should.

Erin

Stephen Blackmoore said...

Ah, Fat Tuesday. Yeah, I sat at a Starbucks and slogged through a chapter instead of hooting it up with college co-eds flashing boobies for beads. Where the hell are my priorities? And where the hell are my beignets? And my Hurricanes?

Pablo! Bring me fruity drinks! Forthwith! And hossenfeffer! Perhaps a midget, or two. And a small yak.

Now as to your getting laid, I've told you what to do. But just because you're afraid of the psychotic consequences, (ex-wives, alcoholic binge-drinkers throwing up in your bathtub, the inevitable hiding of the body) don't go whining about not gettin' some. You're a sex dog, remember? Work that mojo, dammit.

And failing that, I hear it's fleet week in San Francisco. Just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

Besides, you know Alice Ann is going to be in town soon!

Erin

cK said...

Are you pimping Alice Ann? Classic.

Man. I always liked that "Last Christmas" tune. And I totally dug "Faith" in 7th grade and used to sing it with Kelly Clement in gym class. She was a total cutie and had a birthmark on her neck that looked like a hickie. And I always wanted to put a hickey there. I remember dancing with her to the Cure's "One More Time" at a post-8th grade dance. Oh, sigh sigh sigh...those halcyon days...
-Romeo

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I felt kind of bad about writing that about Alice Ann. I wonder if there is some kind of karmic pay back I'm going to get? However, you know that female entrepreneurs have to get by somehow, even if means pimping out their moms. But oh, that Alice Ann - she's one hot chick!

Erin

cK said...

She's a cutie. I will not disagree. It's a whole family of cuties.
-cK

Anonymous said...

Apparently a family of cuties who also come in handy at lunchtime - I just had to perform the Heimlich Maneuver on one of my co-workers. My effort = life saved!

Erin

Hulles - sorry about this off-the-subject banter. I'll stop now.

Hulles said...

Claire, deity perhaps, but a naughty deity and I'm looking for a deitette (deitesse? take your pick) if you're interested. XO.

La Espia T., thanks lots. The post ended up turning out very different than I thought it would. I ended up sort of making fun of my own propensity to wander off track and liking the idea of a one-sentence "subject for the post." And I like your new little picture a lot, FYI.

Stephen, thanks for the encouragement, which is called "aiding and abetting" when you're standing in front of a judge. Interesting about your Pablo request; our tastes coincide in the fruity drinks and the midgets but I always substitute guacamole and a burro for the yak. It costs a couple bucks extra but it's worth it.

And it's also Fleet Week at Walgreen's, which is much closer than SF.

Erin, you need to blog. And thanks for offering up Alice Ann as a sacrifice so I don't attack your sister. Everybody else - Alice Ann is Erin's mother who is coming to visit, if you can credit that.

Good work on the Heimlich Manuever - you'll have to tell me about it. Sounds exciting. You need to blog. And I'm totally fine with off-topic banter. And off-color banter as well.

cK:

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart
But the very next day, You gave it away
This year, to save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special


Not that I gave you or anyone of your ilk my heart then or ever, but if it's going to be going through my head it by damn is going to be going through your head as well.

I'll get you for that.

Hulles said...

And btw "Last Christmas" was pre-post-Wham. Just saying.

Jen said...

Aren't all the real topics of all your blog entries sex and that you need some?

Jen said...

BTW, I'm looking forward to showing you my new tattoo tonight. That's what I was doing on Fat Tuesday. Shoulda had a drink (or drinks, really) afterwards. Oh well...

Hulles said...

Jen, yep, needing sex, that's pretty much it. Very perceptive of you. And per tonight, I look forward very much to seeing your new, raw, red, throbbing, Bacitracin-covered tattoo. (And ibuprofen works better than booze if it really hurts a lot.) (But booze makes you feel slightly better about paying someone to mutilate you, I've found.) XO.

Jen said...

That's what I'm looking forward to tonight. Hearing that quick wit in person. It'll make reading your future entries all that much more interesting once I hear your intonation and inflection.

Oh, and I don't take ibuprofen or the like unless I absolutely have to. But thanks for the tip. If it gets bad enough, I'll down a few.

Hulles said...

Whut?

cK said...

I declare myself Mayor of the 18th Comment!
-cK

Jen said...

Hey! What's for breakfast? ;)

Hulles said...

cK- Who knew the Hulles blog would be home to a comment coup d'etat? I think you should have the former mayor of the 18th comment executed out of hand.

Jen - Mexican Windbreakers -- see next post. XO.

cK said...

Mexican Windbreakers? I better stay upwind of you.
-cK

Missy said...

alles, / Über alles in der Welt"

Gut! Das is sehr gut. You must have done your research well 'cause that is written just as it should be. ;)

Hulles said...

Missy, thanks, I actually did do the research on that one. I was hoping you'd be proud of me.

Jen said...

I was really hoping for a less flatulent breakfast after our first encounter. Your offer sounded more promising and enticing than that. ;)

Hulles said...

Honey, the original breakfast offer still stands, don't think it doesn't. However, you're such a flirt I'm adding a spanking to the breakfast menu between the OJ and the chipped beef on toast.

Jen said...

Huh, and here I thought the spanking was already on the menu.

Hulles said...

No dear, that was a Spanking that was already on the menu. I added a spanking, small 's'. Both will hurt deliciously and increase your appetite for breakfast dramatically.

Big flirt. Good thing I'm not. XO.

Jen said...

Just make sure you aim well. I don't need any stinging high fives on my back.

Not a flirt, you say? That certainly isn't how Cristina and I chose to describe you during our chat last night.