Friday, August 18, 2006

I invented hot water coffee when my electricity was shut off. If that’s ever happened to you, you quickly learn what “quiet” is. Obviously, your TV and stereo don’t work, etc. etc. No microwave. No refrigerator. And if you have an electric stove and oven, they don’t work either. So you wake up in the morning somehow with no alarm clock, stretch, stumble into the living room, and think, “What the… How the hell am I supposed to make coffee?” Dude, the answer is hot water coffee. Now, this works only if you have a gas hot water heater and your gas is still on. You let the hot water in your kitchen sink run until it steams, and then you brew your coffee with the hot tap water. Hopefully, you have store coffee, not specialty coffee, because the result sucks. Guess what it’s better than, though.

It actually took me a day or two of no coffee to think of this method. Before this, I was envisioning using a Sterno stove to heat the water (no Sterno, I drank it[1]); somehow making solar coffee by sticking a jar of coffee in the window (hah - I live in Minnesota); even lighting the cat on fire and holding a sauce pan over her to brew the coffee (couldn’t make her hold still long enough). Consequently I was pretty happy and proud to come up with this method to actually extract something like coffee from the materials at hand. It’s just too bad that the end result tasted like shit. Even using fresh store coffee, it still tasted like recycled grounds coffee. Why this should be true remains a mystery to me to this day. I guess I should have paid more attention in Chemistry class[2].

- Hulles


[1] Joking, just joking….

[2] If I had paid more attention, maybe I could have set up a meth lab and be filthy rich now instead of being extremely poor and depressed. (Or dead. Or in jail.)

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