Saturday, March 13, 2010

Don't Even Think About Swooning, Bitch

It used to be that when a woman was about to "swoon", some helpful person would dab eau de cologne on her forehead. I puzzled over this until I figured out that cologne is mostly alcohol, which evaporates quickly and cools the skin. Thus I suppose the eau de cologne application makes sense, even if the poor woman smells like a cheap whore afterwards. At least she's not laying in the horse dung on the street.

So I'm carrying a bottle of Axe in my briefcase from now on. If you even vaguely look like you're going to swoon I'm dumping it on your forehead. You can thank me later when you're feeling better.

- Hulles

8 comments:

H said...

That's very considerate of you.

Hulles said...

I'm nice like that.

SuperBee said...

And here I always thought it was Smelling Salts that revived fainting, corseted women.

Hulles said...

I have always found removing the corset an effective treatment for reviving fainting, corseted women. Good to hear from you, SuperBee!

SuperBee said...

:)

A gentleman wouldn't remove a corset... Geez!

He would hand the smelling salts to a Lady's Maid who would discreetly loosen the lady's corset laces (just a smidge!) in a discreet location.

Hulles said...

Alas, SuperBee, there are no longer Lady's Maids, nor are there Ladies for that matter. I'm going back to the original "dump a bottle of Axe on them" plan and I'll huff the smelling salts myself.

Anonymous said...

Dependendo da colõnia, melhor manter-se acordada.

bj
do Brasil,

Casti

Hulles said...

Casti, I missed you so much! I thought I had lost you! Um longo beijo do Minnesota e de mim. Beijão!