tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32781314.post115650397508029322..comments2023-05-03T08:57:41.512-05:00Comments on Hulles: A Heterosexual Gentleman's Introduction To The Ballet, Part IIHulleshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04936914788689260243noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32781314.post-32413864805313783212007-02-14T15:47:00.000-06:002007-02-14T15:47:00.000-06:00And by the way, I don't claim to be an expert on a...And by the way, I don't claim to be an expert on any of this, not even a fan per se, just somebody who likes dance and wants to encourage others to like it.<BR/><BR/>All this is to say please let me know where I'm wrong about stuff. You certainly have the background, and more people than just me would love to hear the real scoop from someone who fought in the trenches. I just watched.<BR/><BR/>So there. More feedback.Hulleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04936914788689260243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32781314.post-49297427307896617872007-02-14T15:46:00.000-06:002007-02-14T15:46:00.000-06:00Potato-sack-type burlap and glue. They do this on ...Potato-sack-type burlap and glue. They do this on purpose, those shoe makin' bastards, so that when you sweat through the shoe a few times, it starts to feel like you're dancing on a snotty tissue. Guess what? You need new ones! That'll be 85 bucks please...Lolliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02434675448319103586noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32781314.post-17402227969003691032007-02-14T15:42:00.000-06:002007-02-14T15:42:00.000-06:00Just so you answer. I'll keep an eye on your blog....Just so you answer. I'll keep an eye on your blog.<BR/><BR/>And bear in mind it was roughly twenty years ago when I last held a toe shoe. There's something hard in there that clunks, and I remembered it as wood. Now I suppose I'll have to find out what it really is myself since you're probably back in the conference.<BR/><BR/>Have as much fun as you can; hope your headache's better.Hulleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04936914788689260243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32781314.post-80325509238729218552007-02-14T15:30:00.000-06:002007-02-14T15:30:00.000-06:00Alright, I'm eating lunch at this godforsaken conf...Alright, I'm eating lunch at this godforsaken conference so I'm recharging everything...my laptop, my brain, etc. I have time for a quick quip.<BR/><BR/>Wow.<BR/><BR/>I need to address Ballet I and Ballet II in depth - I have some agreements, some disputes (wood in shoes? C'mon now!) and some funny additions to the fabulous world that is dance. My last attempt to leave a comment ended in disaster (long-ass paragraphs that were eaten by the blogmonster - grr) so I think I will answer sometime this week on my own blog.<BR/><BR/>Extensively.Lolliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02434675448319103586noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32781314.post-67020772553861080502007-02-14T14:22:00.000-06:002007-02-14T14:22:00.000-06:00cK, thanks lots. I would really like to see the fi...cK, thanks lots. I would really like to see the film you mention. I tend to buy movies rather than rent them but I'll look for it when I can next afford one. It sounds like something I would like lots.<BR/><BR/>Mr. Blackmoore, you ignore the coatimundi, always a mistake but understandable in your case. While they may be illegal in California, here we call them "hog nosed coons" and raise them on special ranchs to attack and destroy ballet dancers on sight.<BR/><BR/>We start them out on cloggers and square dancers at first. Only after months of unremitting savagery and a diet of Slim Jims and Red Bull do we introduce them to ballet dancers and vice versa.<BR/><BR/>Some bleeding heart tree huggers here in Minnesota have protested at the hog nosed coon ranches, but I figure these are just people who have never been to a ballet before.<BR/><BR/>I can't believe you and I aren't making a documentary about this as we speak (or, more properly, as I write). We'd be famous and get to wear red tennis shoes whenever we wanted to.<BR/><BR/>Oh and P.S. I always aim for the buttcheeks. See Part III when I write it.<BR/><BR/>My favorite comment of yours so far, btw.Hulleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04936914788689260243noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32781314.post-11639469222284136512007-02-14T12:50:00.000-06:002007-02-14T12:50:00.000-06:00I haven't seen much ballet, but I've enjoyed it.Or...I haven't seen much ballet, but I've enjoyed it.<BR/><BR/>Or, rather, I've enjoyed the idea of it. I have the same problem with ballet that I have with opera (especially after the third day of Wagner). I fall asleep. Awfully embarassing to start snoring during the Magic Flute right at the Queen of The Night Aria.<BR/><BR/>It's not that it's dull per se, it's just... not very exciting. Bear in mind that I don't find football particularly exciting, either. Hockey sometimes, if there's a fight, and roller derby. Especially if they're in bikinis.<BR/><BR/>Every dancer I've known has had a body that can bounce bullets, especially if they're fired at their buttcheeks. It's incredibly athletic, fluid and beautiful what they do. It's just not violent enough.<BR/><BR/>Now if they had prison shanks, or maybe tasers, then I'd be down there hootin' and hollerin' with the rest of you. Make it a cage match, and not like that Ultimate Fighting crap, a real cage match. With steel-tipped whips and a gladius. Maybe some tigers. Or a baboon. A baboon would be cool. One that drops out of the ceiling after being slapped around by a gimp in a zippered mask for half an hour.<BR/><BR/>Just picture it. Lithe bodies, fluidly sliding their way through space, spinning back and forth in a dance of death and blood. Cries of, "Plié THIS, motherfucker!" and "I'll battement tendu jeté your crippled ASS!" <BR/><BR/>And all the while the crowd is chanting, "Chassé! Chassé!" and rattling the bars with their copies of Pointe. And then, BAM! out comes the baboon, titanium capped fangs tearing into the one dancer who just couldn't quite get her feet into fifth position in time.<BR/><BR/>Now THAT'S ballet.Stephen Blackmoorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01241134280141088631noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32781314.post-84650908847647076082007-02-13T21:52:00.000-06:002007-02-13T21:52:00.000-06:00Guh-gah!! You've left the first comment at your en...Guh-gah!! You've left the first comment at your entry! That's devastatingly clever, Hulles. To the deuce with you!<BR/><BR/>I'm enjoying this ballet riff.<BR/><BR/>And I recommend the Swedish documentary film THE DANCER with Erland Josephsson (famed for his roles in many Bergman movies). Fascinating ballet documentary. It rarely focuses on the overall performance. Rather, it uses tight shots on faces during rehearsal. A dancer is practicing spins and all you see is her face growing red. You see numerous close ups of feet being stretched. It's really a different approach to looking at the training. Little explanation; just a lot of focus on the ass-kicking work.<BR/>-cKcKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05361765660743618975noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32781314.post-28337311405585891332007-02-13T19:22:00.000-06:002007-02-13T19:22:00.000-06:00Meh, whatever that means, I almost forgot: I have ...Meh, whatever that means, I almost forgot: I <I>have</I> to write Part III. You need to hear about "The Surrender," and you need to hear it from me, so if anyone knows the story, please don't tell. It's just way too good, and I intend to do it justice.Hulleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04936914788689260243noreply@blogger.com